Anne Lorene’s Blog

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I know, it’s actually true. I am going to start blogging again. The best way to start is with a Happy New Year post.

Here are some highlights of last year.

  1. We are still in the house on 14th Drive and will be staying here for a while. We had thought about selling, and did have the house for sale, but decided instead to enjoy the place instead. It’s a perfect house for three adults and two part time kids to live in. We have so much of our own space.
  2. The highlight of the year was a visit with everyone at the house. For the first time in years, we had all of the kids and grandkids under one roof. That hasn’t happened for a very long time. Here is photographic proof of the event.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

From left to right: (back) Nancy, Jeremy Rhyan, Breanna, Alix, (front) Liam, me, Erick, Heber, Jordyn and Heather.

Our forest was very thick and green this year, so I wanted everyone to see it. I still love being in the Pacific Northwest and not having to shovel snow.

  1. I got new eyes, or got mine fixed. Had cataract surgery this summer on both eyes. All went well. I love not having to wear glasses. I only need them for reading or close work.

     

  2. Some sad news. This fall we lost my brother-in-law, David. He and Ellen had been married for 46 years. He was smart, funny, honest and totally devoted to his family. He had been dealing with Alzheimer’s for several years. Ellen has had to deal with selling the house, moving into a condo and learning to live alone. She has done all of this with grace and love. Here is a picture of them together. He will be missed. He met Ellen when they were in college, and took one look, committed to her and never looked back. He was a wonderful father who gave his best to his children and family. I fondly remember his laugh. It seems he was always sharing a laugh with us, and his sweet smile.

  3. Life goes on with great calmness here. I am blessed to be at a reasonably stable stage of life. I read often, care for the grandkids, shop, cook, clean, deliver children places. In some ways I am still a soccer mom, taking kids in the van. But it is also a time when I have to face losses and realize things are changing quietly, and I don’t recognize the extent of the changes until I look back.

     

  4. Anyone who finds a reason to head up our way, please feel free to drop in. We have plenty of room and are willing to share our table with you.

     

  5. My health has stabilized. My A1c and other markers are good. No major upsets. I have come to realize that I am responsible to how well I navigate through life and I can control whatever comes my way.

     

     

    May all of you have the best time in 2014. I will leave you with the last picture we took on the lovely summer day, showing us as our true selves.

     

    Our true selves!!!

     

    Love to everyone

    Anne

     

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I have six grandchildren, five girls and one boy. I raised three boys myself. There is just something special about boys when they are six to seven; they lose their front teeth. A comical big gap appears, although it’s just temporary (See the example below).

I made his uncle take this picture of him several months ago, because I knew that shortly, his adult teeth would come in, and the whole shape of his face would change. I wanted to preserve this shot of him at this point in his life. He is growing up much too fast, already having finished the first grade. I worried a bit about his school career, knowing how important the first two years are. He didn’t like to read, either, unlike his sister who needs no nudging to pick up a book. He’s a bit squirrely, it just comes with the territory. There is a certain way you have to interact with these creatures. First you need to love and accept them for the characters that they are. I met his teacher this spring at the school spring program. She was telling me how much Liam’s reading had improved over the year, and how much she enjoyed having him in class. She “gets” the kid, and that is great.

Liam loves new things, exciting things, be they big or small. Go on a trip to the dollar store and get a new truck, go to the local science museum and see the submarine and turbines, have a birthday party with dinosaurs on the cake, spend an afternoon jumping on trampolines, attend a performance of Cirque du Soliel, are all awesome events for him. “Awesome” is his favorite word right now. And it fits. His approach to the world is to always be curious, open to something new, and enjoy the heck out of it, whatever it is.

I remember an exchange last year:

Grandma (after watching him do something typical): Liam, you are so cute!

Liam: No, I’m not!

Grandma: You’re not? I thought you were.

Liam: No, I am not cute, I am awesome, but not cute.

It is so easy to buy clothes for him. Each fall, grandma takes the kids to buy a new outfit for school. Last year, for kindergarten, he got a red Transformer’s T-shirt and a pair of jeans. This year, we were back at the same store and after spending half an hour waiting for his sister to try on numerous tops and leggings, he went to the boy section, selected a red Transformer’s T-shirt in the next larger size and a new pair of jeans in the next size up.

Life is so simple for little boys. When they collide with another kid, everyone brushes himself off and life goes on. Girls, on the other hand, brew for weeks over a look. A look? Good grief, and she is only nine. I hope that life is much the same for him when he is nine. That it is still a grand adventure and he is still awesome.

After all, he’s a boy, isn’t life that simple?

It’s about time I started resurrecting my blog here. It’s been way too long since I have written anything of any import here. As I have finally emerged from the haze of the narcotic pain medications that have been a part of my regimen for the past 10 or so months. I want to spend some time doing some better writing here, something longer than deeper than the 420 characters that seems to define communication now days. Having a large numbers of “friends” doesn’t compare to having some real friends to visit with and toss around ideas. I would like to express some opinions that may cause some controversy, and have dear friends aroused about such unimportant things as politics. Every once in a while I may want to vent here, and not get a row going. I can’t help it; I am a politician’s daughter (though he really wasn’t a very successful one), and have morphed from being a Goldwater conservative in my earlier years, to a liberal who has developed some compassion for others. I find that I have remarkably little tolerance for some of the antics of those who are supposed to govern us, but instead do stupid things.

Just as an update, my collapsed lung has healed. The bullous lung disease will be a chronic condition. I am stuck with 80% lung capacity. No scuba diving for me anymore. Cancel that trip to Belize! But it also means that my time on airplanes should be limited. Living at altitudes above 4,000 feet is not a good idea either. I have had to adjust my life and schedule to accommodate these changes. I am still in a great deal of pain, but am working on dealing with it by means other than heavy drugs, that rob me of clarity and energy. In addition, It’s the feeling that I am disabled that bothers me the most. I am used to thinking of myself as being full of energy, ready to go, and do things. That image needs some reworking now.

This is the way that Portland looks most days now. We have had the second wettest spring in the last 117 years, which is, I suppose, how long they have been keeping records. Most days it still rains at least once. Even though the pool at the apartment has been filled for two weeks plus, it’s just not been warm enough to even think of putting on my suit and spending some lazy time swimming laps. It should come sometime soon. The forecast each day sounds so optimistic, partly cloudy, it says, which means that the sun will peek through the overcast a few times during the day. We citizens of the Pacific Northwest have learned to adapt. No matter what the temperature is supposed to be, when going out, especially for an outdoor event, we always keep a windbreaker or sweatshirt in the car, just in case. My down filled short coat hasn’t made it into storage yet, the weather just hasn’t been that good so far.

We have bought a house. That is a saga in itself. When starting out, none of us had any idea it would be such a long tortuous process. After buying several houses in two different states, I thought of myself as being pretty savvy about the ins and outs of buying a home. Even my time spent at Wells Fargo Home Mortgage as recently as a year ago did not prepare us for the jungle out there that real estate has become.

There are times when I view the rest of my world as having come apart at the seams, also.

When I began writing this post, I found it heading in three different directions; that’s a sign to me that I have more than one topic I want to explore, and there should be some more posts to come soon. Finally, some new ideas are percolating.

If you are familiar with me, my life and the lessons learned, come along with me, and enjoy my view of life from my part of the world. I would appreciate the company.

Anne

Life

With a capital L of course, is full of many things. At this time of year, I thought I would sum things up for the past 12 months of my life, but not in chronological order, please.

Events worth rejoicing over

On October 2, 2010 Ms. Rhyan Sophia Wride made her entry into the world. She joins her two fantastic sisters Jordyn and Alexis, in sharing the adventures of her life, which has not been very quiet yet. Life at their house is filled with drama, missing fairy wings, princess costumes, and magic wands. Since they are living in Salt Lake City, I don’t get to see them as often as I would like.

Alexis, Nancy, Jordyn, Jeremy and Rhyan

In September, my daughter, Heather started back to school after being away for a long time. She is attending Salt Lake Community College, so obviously, she is in Salt Lake also. She has put her whole heart into her studies and has done well. Math, English, Music, and Theater have kept her busy. She has also discovered she has a good mind and enjoys learning. I am so proud of her. She is looking forward to next semester already!

Heather taking a break from studying

Our third event is a miracle. On April 16, across the ocean, Ms Melinda Jensen made her entrance into the world. Her parents are my nephew BJ and his wife Marica(Janet’s son). She came way too early, at the 24th week of pregnancy and weight 1.28 pounds. Her twin brother Christian, lived only a few minutes. The doctors had a guarded prognosis, and made lots of noises about complications, developmental problems, and such, but no one forgot to tell this young lady, who just has sailed through life with no major problems. She now weighs 13 pounds and has been home for almost three months. Here is her latest picture.

 

Ms. Malinda smiling for the camera

I am still here in Portland, and enjoying the grandchildren who live here. Bre is 9, loves to read and do crafts. She played soccer this summer. Liam also played soccer and has been doing well in first grade. They, like the rest of my grandchildren, are brilliant and beautiful or as Liam puts it “Awesome.” They are such a delight to have around and know that I can share time with them.

Erick and the kids having fun at the beach

Events I am regarding as a challenge

Life has been an adventure this year. I began working for Wells Fargo in Salt Lake, then transferred to Portland in March. It really did not matter where I was stationed, since I was constantly boarding planes train employees in Loss Mitigation, Collections and computer systems. From March through July, I was constantly traveling to another location. At the beginning of July, I got off a plane in Charlotte North Carolina. The temperature and humidity were both at 95, so I was not surprised that I felt breathless. From Charlotte I went to San Bernadino, and then home. I actually had some time off, and felt the first order of business was to get caught up on sleep and hang out with the grandkids who live here in Portland.

In August, I could not breathe and was not doing well. With a new assignment in tow, I was preparing to head out to Des Moines at the end of August. In the middle of August, still miserable, I showed up at urgent care and was told I had a sinus infection (even though my blood oxygen level was 70%, which was scary). I got on a plane at the end of August and was very ill by the time I reached Denver. Things didn’t get better throughout the trip, even during a surprise weekend in Minneapolis. Returning home, I saw a new doctor who found a pneumorthorax (collapsed lung). Apparently, I had been living with it for several months. After a weekend in the hospital, I did not feel better. It took a pulmonary specialist to find out what was wrong.

I have bullous lung disease, which is fairly rare. I had never heard of it. It seems that my lung fills with cysts, they burst and cause scarring and make me miserable. I was born with it, which is great news for the kids and grandkids, since it is genetic. Anyway, as a result of this disease, I have had to adjust my life style. I cannot climb Mount Everest, or scuba dive(Never really wanted to do them anyway.) I am supposed to stop smoking and using marijuana, (my secret sins have been uncovered). I need to stay at sea level and cannot get on any airplanes to go anywhere.

That means I had to quit work, and have been staying home recovering since. The penumorthorax has finally healed.

I am still sorting things out. I don’t know what the future has in store right now.

I take comfort in my new mantra, courtesy of another woman who had her life change drastically and had to deal with much more than I have, Elizabeth Edwards. I leave you with her words.

“She stood in the storm, and when the wind did not blow her way, which it certainly did not, she adjusted her sails.”

~ Elizabeth Edwards

Love to you all. Have a wonderful holiday season.

Anne

annecloward@gmail.com

https://annelorene.wordpress.com

Exponent II Classics: Patti Perfect

Posted on April 2, 2008. Filed under: Mormon women | Tags: EmilyCC, motherhood, Patti Perfect |


Patti Perfect

retyped by EmilyCC
I thought I’d begin our newly formatted blog (thanks, Jana!) with one of the magazine’s most requested articles. Enjoy!

Margaret B. Black
Midge W. Nielsen
Orem Utah
Vol. 10: No. 2 (Winter 1984)

Many LDS women unconsciously compete with an idealized image of the already-perfect wife and mother who successfully incorporates all the demands of family, church, and society into her life. Although we have never met such a woman, we persist in believing she’s out there somewhere. We can just imagine what she must accomplish in a day…

Patti gets up very early and says her personal prayers. She zips up her slim, vigorous body into her warm-up suit and tiptoes outside to run her usual five miles (on Saturday she does ten). Returning home all aglow, she showers and dresses for the day in a tailored skirt and freshly starched and ironed blouse. She settles down for quiet meditation and scripture reading before preparing the family breakfast. The morning’s menu calls for whole wheat pancakes, homemade syrup, freshly squeezed orange juice, and powdered milk (the whole family loves it).

With classical music wafting through the air, Patti awakens her husband and ten children. She spends a quiet moment with each and helps them plan a happy day. The children quickly dress in clothes that were laid out the night before. They cheerfully make their beds, clean their rooms, and do the individual chores assigned to them on the Family Work Wheel Chart. They assemble for breakfast the minute mother calls.

After family prayer and scripture study, the children all practice their different musical instruments. Father leaves for work on a happy note. All too soon it is time for the children to leave for school. Having brushed (and flossed) their teeth, the children pick up coats, books bags, and lunches that were prepared the night before and arrive at school five minutes early.

With things more quiet, Patti has story-time with her pre-schoolers and teaches them cognitive reading skills. She feeds, bathes, and rocks the baby before putting him down for his morning nap. With the baby sleeping peacefully and the three-year-old twins absorbed in creative play, Patti tackles the laundry and the housework. In less than an hour, everything is in order. Thanks to wise scheduling and children who are trained to work, her house never really gets dirty.

Proceeding to the kitchen, Patti sets out tonight’s dinner: frozen veal parmigiana that she made in quantity from her home-grown tomatoes and peppers. She then mixes and kneads twelve loaves of bread. While the bread rises, Patti dips a batch of candles to supplement her food storage. As the bread bakes, she writes in her personal journal and dashes off a few quick letters: one to her Congressman and a couple genealogy inquiries to distant cousins. Patti then prepares her mini-class lesson on organic gardening. She also inserts two pictures and a certificate in little Paul’s scrapbook, noting with satisfaction that all family albums are up-to-date. Checking the mail, Patti sees that their income tax refund has arrived—a result of having filed in January. It is earmarked for mission and college savings accounts. Although Patti’s hardworking husband earns only a modest salary, her careful budgeting has kept the family debt-free.

After lunch, Patti drops the children off at Grandma’s for their weekly visit. Grandma enjoys babysitting and appreciates the warm loaf of bread. Making an extra call, Patti takes a second loaf to one of the sisters she is assigned to visit teach. A third loaf goes to the non-member neighbor on the corner.

Patti arrives at the elementary school where she directs a special education program. A clinical psychologist, Patti finds directing this program an excellent way to stay abreast of her field while raising her family. Before picking up her little ones, Patti finishes collecting for the charity fund drive.

Home again, Patti settles the children down for their afternoon naps. She spends some quiet time catching up on her reading and filing. As she mists her luxuriant house plants, the school children come through the door. Patti listens attentively to each one as they tell about their day. The children start right in on their homework, with mother supervising and encouraging them. When all the schoolwork is done, Patti and the children enjoy working on one of their family projects. Today they work on the quilt stretched on frames in a corner of the family room.

Dinnertime and father arrives, and it is a special hour for the whole family. They enjoy Patti’s well-balanced, tasty meal, along with stimulating conversation. After dinner, Father and Mom can relax. She enjoys listening to the sounds of laughter and affection that come from the kitchen.

With the teenaged children in charge at home, Mother and Father attend an evening session at the temple. During the return trip, they sit close together as in courting days. “Well, dear,” says Paul Perfect, “did you have a good day?” Patti reflectively answers, “Yes, I really did. But I feel I need more challenge in my life. I think I’ll contact our Family Organization and volunteer to head up a reunion for August.”

Does this idealized image still ring true almost 30 years later? How is it different? What would a Young Woman Patti Perfect or a single Patti Perfect or a Grandma Patti Perfect look like?

 

From least to most effective

With today’s economy, many church members find themselves searching for employment. For many, this is a new experience, and people are unsure of how to search for new employment. As an independent contractor, I am always looking for my next gig. Here are ways that can greatly improve your success rate.

11.    Job sites (Monster, Career Builder)

I find these to be pretty useless. How many other thousands of people are trolling out there and applying for the same job. Your résumé and application fall into a huge black hole.

10.    Out of Town Recruiters

They don’t know the territory! They are often unethical and are not looking out for your best interests. Ignore them. Many of these companies are not legitimate and make unrealistic promises that they cannot deliver. Local agencies know hiring managers and have relationships that can work to your advantage. These people, located several hundred or thousands of miles away, don’t have a clue as to what the real hiring practices are in your neighborhood. If you are planning to relocate, these recruiters can be of assistance, but be careful.

9.    Corporate Websites

When corporate websites list job openings, they are overwhelmed by so many resumes, too many to sort through. If you send your résumé in to one of these, it disappears into a black hole. These sites are best used to gather information about a company. You may also be able to get email addresses of people who are in charge of things.

8.    Linkedin.com and other Business Networking Sites

These sites are great tools that get you connected to others. Use them to reconnect with past employers and classmates in a professional manner. Once you have joined one of these sites, be ready to connect others to people you know. These sites work best when you give as well as take information from them.

7.    Recruiting Firms

Recruiters find jobs for and are paid by clients. They often have access to positions that are never posted on the internet. A strong network of recruiters who are looking out for you is a great resource. Recruiters also troll CareerBuilder and Monster and Dice sites trying to find candidates with special skills. They have lots of leads and love to network. Get to know recruiters. Meet them face to face. Send them the names of your friends. It takes time to sort out the good ones, but personal recommendations are a good place to start.

6.    Networking Meetings

There are hundreds of them going on in your area. Find your specialty and hang out. Face to face contact is best. People know other people, people who are working. In many areas, there are specialty groups (high tech, trainers) which are attended by job seekers and hiring people alike, For example, if you graduated from BYU, join the local branch of the BYU Management Society and attend their functions.

5,    Your LDS Employment Center

If there is one in your area, take advantage of their many services. They can assist in all aspects of your job search and are an invaluable resource. They are staffed by knowledgeable people who have special training in assisting you with your job search. Anyone may use their services, including non-members.

4.    Your Ward Employment Specialist

His calling is to assist you. He has a whole ward at his disposal who may also be helpful. In these tough times, many bishops are calling committees to assist the specialist. They also have a stewardship over you in your job search.

3.    Your Home Teacher and Priesthood leaders

Your home teacher cares about you and he can give you a special priesthood blessing of comfort and encouragement as you search for work. Your priesthood quorum leaders are also aware of resources within the ward that can support you. Don’t be shy about asking for blessings or information.

2.    Your Bishop

Many people have false pride and don’t want to let people know they are out of work, but your bishop is someone who needs to know what is happening in your life. He has resources you are not even aware of. A bishop’s blessing of comfort is so helpful. He loves you and wants to help.

  1. The Temple

Use some of your down time to attend the temple. Linger a while. Counsel with your Father in Heaven about your situation. He is mindful of you and your needs. This is a place where you can gain a perspective of what is really important in this life. Unemployment is only a temporary situation. You do not need to be employed to attend the temple; you just need to be worthy. He knows the beginning from the end.